On 4th June 2026, I stood on a stage, in a room full of people, predominantly women, substantially strangers, at a public event entitled 'Unspoken…staged by UK House as part of the annual London SXSW event.
The scenario itself should not have been so daunting, my being an award receiving actress with four decades of treading boards, however, this was different. The spoken word piece I performed was deeply personal. Through laughter triggering and silence evoking storytelling, I spoke openly, publicly about my journey pre, during and post Menopause.
"Nobody warned me!" was the underpinning sentiment.
About the untimely and downright embarrassing hot flashes.
About the confidence stealing brain fog (read senior moments turbo boosted by spiralling oestrogen deficiency), that I now realise had caused some of my adored senior actress mentors to voluntarily sit on the bench rather than accept roles. Roles that might see them staring vacantly at the audience were a horrifying 'blank mind' moment to strike. It might never happen, but the fear is that, it just might. I hadn't even acknowledged that I had strategically re-cast myself as a senior actress that now prefers to coach or direct. Had I too given in to a subconscious fear? If so, I'm speaking up for these stalwart acting geniuses, that bowed out early and into the wings…for fear of exposing a menopausal symptom.
Then I, a former prude, that had at first felt uncomfortable saying the word 'Vagina' on stage in Eve Ensler's amazing 'Vagina Monologues' performance back in 2008, spoke up about the shock of excruciating pain experienced during a 'final' sexual encounter. About the fear and 'lock down' that followed. I thought of and spoke up for my dear departed Mother, who had never spoken to me (and I'm sure not to my Windrush era Dad) about her menopausal symptoms, except to lament about her night sweats. How many women 'shut up shop', as we say in Jamaica…rather than go through the agonising-pleasure, blighted by oestrogen deprived vaginal walls.
Nobody warned them either. A class action case of shut up and shut shop, which even some of you reading this might epiphanise over. It shouldn't have to be like this.
Then came UTO. The story and game changer!
I happened to be back in the UK visiting my son and decided to take a long overdue PAP/Smear test. I was dreading it. I had been avoiding them for (too many) years because of the intense discomfort I always felt. Cold clamps, stirrups and what felt to me like a pair of pliers pinching and removing a piece of my inner, nether region. But given my age and the long gap since the last one, I was advised to take it. It just so fortuitously happened that I was visiting with Professor Shalom Lloyd MBE, founder and champion of Naturally Tiwa who had recently launched her flagship intimate lubricant UTO. I got my hands on a bottle. I decided to use it for my PAP experience and, let me tell you…(drum roll)…it was a breathtakingly refreshing experience. Yes. A smear test! I even asked the Nurse if she was done already! She too was impressed by the consistency of the oil-based lubricant, pointing out that it 'behaved itself' as much as the usual water based lubricant issued by the NHS for the process.
That wasn't the end. Post PAP…there was the feeling of 'aliveness'…down there. I called it The Rebirth. For the days following, it felt like a wilting rose had finally been watered and had come back into bloom. LOL!
So, back to the stage. I spoke up and shared with the other women in the room, how UTO not only lubricated my body, but liberated my mind! At 62 next birthday, I had almost written myself out of the intimacy script. UTO, which means pleasure in the Ibo language (from the roots of its main natural ingredient, Shea) has rewritten lines and cast me in a leading role that I was shying away from. Not only was it my first time back on stage after a couple of years hiatus, but my real life character has also broken new ground in vulnerability…given a welcoming platform to speak up and a product worth speaking about.
I also sensed from the audience responses, and know from the discussions later, that many other women in the room exhaled and were emboldened. Empowered, to speak the erstwhile unspoken.
Speak Up! WE want to hear you!
C. Makeda Solomon ACII, CIP
